The Fruit Fly’s Buzz: Tara B, the Cake Betch

What’s  The Fruit Fly’s Buzz?

In case you missed it, The Fruit Fly’s Buzz is a series of guest posts by some of my favorite Fruit Flies – women who love (but aren’t in love with) gay men. The Fruit Fly’s Buzz is a Top 10 list written to the gay men in their lives – it can be snarky, sassy, bitchy, or sweet. Or all of the above. But most importantly, it comes from their hearts.

Who’s Tara?

I know Tara best as Cake Betch, and she’s one of the funniest people I’ve ever met. But I love her most for her openness and authenticity. Seriously, she’ll tell you about anything – and that’s right up my alley.

Shameless Self-Promotion

Tara writes the wildly popular blog – The Hot Mess Chronicles – where she’s “over-sharing one post at a time”. Go check it out right now. Wait, read her Top 10 first!

Tara’s Top 10

1. When we talk your voice and tone and excitement level are always on par with mine. I can’t say this is the case with straight men. I don’t even know if they’re listening to me.
2. You’re so freaking cute. I just want to pinch your cheeks. Well, I wouldn’t, because you wouldn’t like that. Maybe I’d just cuddle you, and rock you like a baby. And ask you how you got to be so cute.
3. If I ever need to know the TRUTH about my ass size relative to these jeans, I will ask you first. The boyfriend is OBLIGATED to say I look good – it is YOUR job to make sure I’m not lookin a mess. 
4. You love to gossip just as much as the next girl. So do I. Let’s go to it, cause there is SO MUCH to dish about!
5. You’ve always got some kind of special little talent – homemaking, baking, cookies, arts and crafts, painting, SOMETHING. You can’t tell me that you’re gay without me wondering how you’re artistic. 
6. If I come home and tell my boyfriend that I’m going to kick someone’s face in he tells me to calm down. If I tell that to you boys you’ll put some heels on WITH ME and go kick some face in.
7. You’re always so SASSAAAAY! Did you say that properly? Re-read it in your best SASSAAAY voice if you didn’t. 
8. If I need to find a really cute place in a really cute area you already have that shit on lockdown and are ready to do some tours. 
9. You keep a cleaner and more well decorated house than I do. Secretly I’m hoping your good tastes will rub off on me. So far it hasn’t worked.
10. I admire you for being the strong men and women that you are, standing up for what you believe in, even when ignorance still abounds. You have my love and support.