For real. I dream of her. And not of her delicious ice cream – but her. Oh goodness, I sound like a stalker. But I’m not a stalker, Jeni! I’m just a harmless gay boy who thinks you’re the shiz!
But before I can continue my crazy babbling, I need to fill in some blanks for some of you who may not know who Jeni is. For those of you who don’t live in Columbus, don’t have the innerwebs, can’t get the Food Network, haven’t read Time Magazine, or just live under a rock – let me introduce you to Jeni.
She’s real, she’s authentic, she lives in Columbus, she loves Columbus, she’s smart, and she’s funny. Oh, and she makes the world’s best ice cream. And I’ve never met her.
But get this – I’ve been dreaming about her. And I’m talking dreams that seem so real I could swear they happened! Nothing crazy happens. We’re not sitting on magic mushrooms; we’re not co-judging American Idol; and we’re not abandoned on a remote island looking for treasure planted by Oprah. We’re just talking like old friends and gabbing about the ‘Bus, farmers markets, and you guessed it – ice cream!
Think I’m nutso yet? Oh, it gets better. So, Keith and I were heading to NYC last Thursday, and we hopped on the shuttle to take us from long-term parking to the Columbus airport. And guess who (I thought) got on the shuttle?! Jeni! I got nervous and sweaty, and I kept rehearsing in my head what I wanted to say to her. Good thing I didn’t ever muster up the nerve. In my hysteria, I texted Keithy to see what he thought. He looked at me like I had just jumped the shuttle back from Promises. And his return text pretty much said the same thing.
My heart was broken. I guess in my head I was just wanting to meet Jeni, so I fantasized that this woman with Jeni-like glasses was the ice cream goddess herself. But alas, it wasn’t. Stupid, Bryant. Why would Jeni be on the long-term parking shuttle anyway?
So, what’s going on with me? Why is my mind playing tricks on me and my subconscious dreaming these I-can’t-believe-they’re-not-real dreams? I have no clue! And if I were to ever really meet Jeni, I haven’t the foggiest idea what I would say! “Hi, I really like your ice cream.” Yeah, what a loser would I be!
Anyway, this is the part in my blog posts when I usually connect all the the threads, make a point, or at least make some type of conclusion. But tonight, none of that is happening. I guess I just wanted to share what’s been on my mind lately.
Damn, when’s payday so I can go get some ice cream?