The Fruit Fly’s Buzz: Jenn Mitchell Phillips

30 Apr

Who’s Jenn?

Jenn’s one hell of a woman, who always speaks the truth, even when the truth hurts. Kind of like your mother, if she didn’t love or care for you at all. But  Jenn does love you – she just shows it in a different kind of way. 

Shameless Self-Promotion

Jenn says she has nothing she’d like to shamelessly self-promote, so I (Bryant) thought I’d just shamelessly promote Jenn herself!

I had the pleasure of spending 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, for 4 weeks with Jenn in Ontario, Canada. I was head-over-heels for this fruit fly from the very first day, and I love her dearly. 

Jenn’s Top 10

  1. Just because I can pull off ruffles, doesn’t mean that you can.

  2. If you find yourself beside a girl who hangs around with gay men, is fat, ugly, beastly, and a controlling psycho-bitch, looking to convert every homosexual male within a 100-mile radius into a straight man – run for the hills as you found yourself a “HAG”. Yes, I know this should be obvious, but unfortunately, it has to be pointed out to some.
  1. You love shoes. Enough said.
  1. It is okay to let ME be the one carrying the fabulous bag once in a while.
  1. No matter what, your ass is never as fat as you think it is. Okay, well, most of your asses aren’t.
  1. If I ever forget the lyrics, I know I can count on you to fill them in.
  1. Will someone please explain the Barbara Streisand obsession???? I just don’t get it. I mean really, can I just once hear you say she needs a damn nose job!
  1. I don’t want to hear about your sex life unless it contains the words “and then Vin Diesel joined in”.
  1. Next to you, I look like an angel (and that ain’t easy to accomplish) 😉
  1. Gay men may be some of the only people in the world that give better head than I do.

4 Responses to “The Fruit Fly’s Buzz: Jenn Mitchell Phillips”

  1. thekeithmiles April 30, 2011 at 2:29 pm #

    Bryant Bmac will not know the lyrics when you forget, but he will make up words that fit in their place. You may not know when this occurs.

    • Bryant April 30, 2011 at 2:30 pm #

      I initially wanted to get mad, but it’s totally true.

  2. Cake Betch April 30, 2011 at 8:04 pm #

    Jen is a cutie. And WHAT IS the obsession with Barbara Streisand? I don’t get her. I can totally get Lady Gaga (and of course the cast of Wicked), but I’m still a little puzzled about Barbara. Is she still a big icon or is that kind of an old thing?

    • Bryant April 30, 2011 at 10:47 pm #

      Ya know, I honestly don’t get it either. It’s not that I dislike her, but I think that era must’ve been before me.

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