Things I learned on the bus

28 May

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So, Keithy and I decided to take a bus to NYC this weekend. Yes, a bus. The Megabus to be exact.

Neither of us has ever traveled by bus before, so we thought this would be an adventure! And an adventure it has turned out to be!

And now I present “Things I Learned On the Bus”…

1. This is not a plane. I know this seems like common sense, but I guess I was just picturing this more like a plane on wheels. Yeah, not so much.

2. There are no flight attendants on the bus! Where are my snacks? I need a complimentary Coke product, dammit!

3. No one else seems to think the bus is an adventure except us. These people all act jaded by the bus – like they’ve done this before.

4. Some cultures weren’t taught the valuable life skill of whispering. Seriously. I’ve had to listen to this group of people talk loudly ever since Pittsburgh, and that was 7 hours ago.

5. There are a lot of college kids on the bus! Is this how they travel? By bus? Wow. That sucks.

6. Oh god, the bathroom. And I thought airplane restrooms were bad. I’m avoiding this shit like the plague.

7. The bus may say free wi-fi, but after countless hours and fits of rage, I have officially given up on it. Free wi-fi on the bus is just an urban legend – like unicorns and bisexual men.

8. The bus doesn’t stop for anything! They make the rules, and they don’t care if you’re cold, hungry, sick, or dead. The bus must go on.

9. I was not prepared for how uncomfortable the bus is! I’ve already bought a pillow, a blanket, gum, snacks, and drinks from the gas station. There goes my money-saving bus ticket.

10. There is no level of professionalism on the bus. The driver got on the speaker and told us not to smoke weed while on the bus. God bless airlines and their cheesy scripts!

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5 Responses to “Things I learned on the bus”

  1. thekeithmiles May 28, 2011 at 5:27 am #

    I don’t think you’ve captured the charm of the adventure properly.

    Just kidding. Lesson learned. Bus to Pittsburgh – okay. Bus to Chicago – okay. Bus to NYC – No.

  2. thekeithmiles May 28, 2011 at 5:30 am #

    And I feel it’s important to mention we were crossing Pennsylvania. Which is apparently West Viriginia with cities. Where the hell is the 3G here?!?!

  3. Abby May 28, 2011 at 1:58 pm #

    My sister still hates the state of Kentucky because of riding a bus through it when we moved from Louisiana to Ohio. They had sold too many tickets, so, while we were seated, there were a whole bunch of people standing in the aisles. The majority of them were Amish people in their wool. It got hot on the bus with all those people on it, even in January, and it was miserable for anyone with a working nose. This was the leg of the trip that crossed through Kentucky, so my sister still avoids the state at all costs. She’s been known to go AROUND Kentucky when driving from Ohio to Tennessee. No joke.

    My point? Bus trips ruin everything.

  4. Cake Betch May 30, 2011 at 8:52 pm #

    Hahahahaha oh noes!! That sounds terrible! I’ve never ridden a bus other than around campus and on field trips when I was little but I’m willing to bet taking one to NY is much more difficult. That’s hilarious though. Hope you guys had fun 🙂
    PS – urban legend like unicorns and bisexual men <~~ lolololol

    • Bryant May 30, 2011 at 10:00 pm #

      Oh yeah. It’s an experience. More to come!

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