So, Keithy and I decided to take a bus to NYC this weekend. Yes, a bus. The Megabus to be exact.
Neither of us has ever traveled by bus before, so we thought this would be an adventure! And an adventure it has turned out to be!
And now I present “Things I Learned On the Bus”…
1. This is not a plane. I know this seems like common sense, but I guess I was just picturing this more like a plane on wheels. Yeah, not so much.
2. There are no flight attendants on the bus! Where are my snacks? I need a complimentary Coke product, dammit!
3. No one else seems to think the bus is an adventure except us. These people all act jaded by the bus – like they’ve done this before.
4. Some cultures weren’t taught the valuable life skill of whispering. Seriously. I’ve had to listen to this group of people talk loudly ever since Pittsburgh, and that was 7 hours ago.
5. There are a lot of college kids on the bus! Is this how they travel? By bus? Wow. That sucks.
6. Oh god, the bathroom. And I thought airplane restrooms were bad. I’m avoiding this shit like the plague.
7. The bus may say free wi-fi, but after countless hours and fits of rage, I have officially given up on it. Free wi-fi on the bus is just an urban legend – like unicorns and bisexual men.
8. The bus doesn’t stop for anything! They make the rules, and they don’t care if you’re cold, hungry, sick, or dead. The bus must go on.
9. I was not prepared for how uncomfortable the bus is! I’ve already bought a pillow, a blanket, gum, snacks, and drinks from the gas station. There goes my money-saving bus ticket.
10. There is no level of professionalism on the bus. The driver got on the speaker and told us not to smoke weed while on the bus. God bless airlines and their cheesy scripts!