When I announce that I “hate” someone, it usually comes from a place of love – and not really hate at all. Remember my thoughts on Jennifer Hudson? Yeah, well, it’s that same kind of hate for Ms. PCD.
So, what did she do to deserve the wrath of Bmac? Well, let’s talk about Why I Kinda Hate Nicole Sherzinger…
She’s beautiful. She can actually sing. She’s part-Filipino. She was a part of a girl group that I loved. She’s on one of my favorite new shows. And I kinda hate her.
I don’t know if you all read the dramz that went down when Cheryl Cole was booted from X Factor and Nicole Sherzinger replaced her – but I sure did. I thought to myself, “Damn. For Simon Cowell to fire his British buddy and bring in the former lead Pussycat Doll, Cheryl must have been just god-awful, and Nicole must have been amazing.”
Boy was I wrong.
When the show finally aired, I thought Cheryl was adorable, endearing, and constructive. And when Nicole was ushered in, I thought she was whiney, squeaky, made of saccharin, and cried a lot. And after weeks of watching the show, I now realize that those adjectives were actually compliments to poor Nicole.
Nicole is the mentor for the over-30 group of contestants – who arguably have the most potential. But she’s totally failing them. Week after week I watch her choose terrible songs for her peeps! The songs are cookie-cutter and totally expected, and the arrangements are dull and boring.
Why is she such a bad mentor? In the words of a very wise man, “she’s been LA’d”. You see, Nicole was born in Hawaii and then moved to Kentucky when she was six years old. She had a crazy-interesting childhood that should have made her a diverse, quirky, girl-next-door pop star who everyone could relate to. But she’s bland and lifeless. She doesn’t celebrate her own differences, so, of course, she doesn’t know how to help others celebrate their differences either.
Don’t believe me? Just do a search for Nicole’s solo career. She started trying to be a solo artist in 2006, and all her attempts have flopped. Single after single was sent out to the masses, and if you’ve ever heard Baby Love, then you know why her debut album was officially shelved in 2010. The songs were just bad. Finally in March 2011, Nicole released a solo album. And guess what? It flopped too.
But in true Bmac fashion, I have some advice for our homegurl, Nicole: Get out of LA. Embrace your roots. Figure out who you are. Be a weirdo. Work with some people who have embraced their quirks and who own their originality. Then come back to the music scene and blow us away.
And make me kinda love you.