5 Things Parents Need to Stop Doing to Non-Parents

17 Jul

ImageI recently read an article on Huffington Post 5 Things Parents Need to Stop Saying to Non-Parents, and while I agree with some of the author’s sentiment, I honestly think the message came across rather bitchy. And when I think of my friends who have kids, my attitude generally isn’t bitchy at all.

So, in true Bmac fashion, I’ve decided to share my take on this topic – with one little modification in the title. Here are my 5 Things Parents Need to Stop Doing to Non-Parents.

1. Stop assuming I don’t want to hang out with your kids

It’s true – I don’t want kids. The thought of having them makes me want hide in the closet in the fetal position, rocking back and forth with my eyes closed. But that doesn’t mean I don’t like your kids.

Once upon a time, you were cool, and that’s why we became friends. So guess what? You’re probably raising some pretty cool kids too, and I’d like to be a part of that.

2. Quit thinking we need something fabulous to do just to hang out

I’m not sure if you feel guilty for having me over when there’s nothing  going on, or maybe you only associate me with awesome fun times (because you really should) that we had pre-kiddos. But whatever your hang-up is, get over it.

We don’t need to go to a bar and get wasted or go for a spur-of-the-moment road trip. I am happy to come to your house and watch you fold laundry. Hell, I might even help. I’d just like to see you.

3. Stop it already with thinking things need to be perfect

I don’t care that your house is a wreck. I don’t care that you’ve been wearing the same tank top for three days. I don’t care that your kids are gross and un-bathed.

None of that stuff matters. If you’re waiting for life to be perfect so we can hang out again, we might be in a nursing home together before that happens. Would it make you feel better if I wore the same tank top for three days too?

4. Stop asking me to babysit

Oh wait, you would never do that. I’m just checking if you’re paying attention.

5. Stop apologizing for your kids

I realize that they’re holy terrors who never stop eating, sleeping, pooping, peeing, puking, and all types of other gross shit. But you chose to have these two-legged monsters, and I think that’s great.

Here’s the deal, plain and simple: Your kids are important to you, and you’re important to me. So, your kids are are important to me too.

In the end, I hope my message is loud and clear to you parents about your non-parent friends – don’t automatically shut us out. But for the love of Gaga, get a babysitter sometimes and let us hear you say the F word again.


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